You Are OK, Not to Be OK: Teach Your Children to Embrace Their Emotions
It’s common for parents to wish to protect their kids from pain, suffering and mental distress. We want them to smile, feel content, and feel safe. However, in our over-enthusiasm to shield them, we may inadvertently convey the message that experiencing anything but happy feelings is unacceptable. This may cause kids to suppress their emotions or teach them that feeling depressed or angry is a sign of weakness. But it’s important to teach kids that it’s acceptable to not feel okay. It’s ok not ‘to be ok’, you’re what you are. Mental wellness requires accepting and comprehending all feelings, even the unpleasant or negative ones.
The Importance of Emotional Acceptance
Youngsters are always learning new things about the environment they live in, including how to manage their emotions. They must realise that experiencing emotions like sadness, anger, or anxiety is normal. We support children in developing mental resilience and emotional intelligence by letting them feel and express these feelings.
Children learn to deal with difficulties more effectively when they are taught that all emotions are fine. They improve their ability to manage stress and develop greater empathy for other people. Conversely, repressing negative feelings might later in life result in anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
Establishing a Secure Environment for Speech
Setting up a secure environment for your child to express their emotions is one of the most crucial things you can do as a parent. This entails communicating to them your willingness to listen to them and your lack of fear of criticism or retaliation.
Give your children your undivided attention to begin with. Give them your whole attention when they approach you with an issue or an intense feeling. Recognise their emotions and let them know it’s acceptable for them to feel the way they do to demonstrate empathy. Say, “I can see that you’re really upset right now, and that’s okay,” as an example. I am available to you.
Normalising Unfavourable Feelings
It’s also critical to normalise unpleasant feelings. Kids should know that everyone feels fear, anger, and grief occasionally. Sharing your own emotions with kids in a manner suitable for their age will help you achieve this. Saying something like, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed today, but I know it’s okay to feel this way,” could help ease the tension in your body. I will take a few deep breaths and discuss it with someone.
You can teach your children that it’s okay to experience a range of emotions and that there’s no need to feel embarrassed about them by modelling this behaviour. They feel more at ease talking about their own issues as a result.
Promoting Open Communication
The secret to helping your child learn how to control their emotions is to promote open communication. Make it a point to enquire about their emotional state on a frequent basis. You can accomplish this in quiet times, such as before going to bed or while driving.
Use open-ended enquiries such as “What was your day like? Did anything bring you joy or sorrow? This encourages children to freely express their ideas and emotions. When they do ‘open up’, express them your support and empathy in return. Refrain from diving right into problem-solving mode; sometimes, kids just need to be understood and heard.
Educating on Healthy Coping Strategies
Teach your child appropriate coping skills as soon as they feel at ease expressing their feelings. These can include journaling, painting, deep breathing techniques, or speaking with a family member or close friend. Remind them that they do not have to handle their emotions on their own and that it’s acceptable to seek for assistance when they need it.
When they are feeling stressed, encourage them to take breaks and do something that helps them feel better. This may be spending some time relaxing, reading a book, or going outside to play.
Getting Expert Assistance When Needed
Although it is common for kids to feel a variety of emotions, there can be occasions when they require more support. You should consider seeking counselling or therapy from a mental health expert if the child is experiencing acute ‘big’ emotions on a regular basis or if you witness behavioural changes in them. Therapists can help your child learn coping mechanisms and create a secure environment in which they can explore their emotions.
In conclusion, Accept All Feelings
In conclusion, one of the most crucial lessons you can teach your kids is that it’s acceptable to not feel okay. You may assist your child in laying a solid foundation for mental wellness by accepting all feelings. Promote open and frank dialogue, offer a secure environment for self-expression, and set an example of good coping techniques. Remember that the only way we can genuinely progress is by acknowledging and accepting our feelings.
To read more on mental health, visit Mind Therapy Blog
